So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
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I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
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I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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