he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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