On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
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Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
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You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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