I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize