Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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