i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
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I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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