We named our party play list daddy issues
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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