is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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