one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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