At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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