If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize