Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
dude. I can hear the air.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize