dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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