is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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