Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize