Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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