I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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