Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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