Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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