I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize