I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
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I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize