I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize