Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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