I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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