Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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