Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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