Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My cat gives me a boner
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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