the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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