So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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