I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
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I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
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I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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