I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize