capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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