At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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