There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
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I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
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I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize