i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You made out with two different species that night
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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