I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize