I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize