my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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