im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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