sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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