the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize