I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
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There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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