I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize