if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize