he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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