drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize