She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
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She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
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and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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