suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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