i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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