I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
nutella sex= disaster
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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